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BirdTRIBE Signs, Signals & the Warrior Spirit.

5/15/2012

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Tomorrow is the big day. I will be rewarded with vision. Preparations have been made by me using the cities portals of light, to help me amplify my meditation on what exactly I should be doing this next week or so of "riding the miles".
Yesterday was perhaps more amazing then previous days. With bright sun, baking my sides it seemed...inside and out. I let myself be clay and get molded.
In the morning, my hosts on the SE part of Portland drove me to Sellwood. I was treated with such, care, as Matt helped me with my extra bags up the back stairs, to John's place.
Another day of meeting new faces, and sorting encoded information.
I was shown a new apartment just as light and open as the last, but even more calm. I set everything down and headed out for some walking. I hunted around for a good coffee place where I could perhaps get away with doing some readings. Coffee happened; readings did not. But first I had found a bench in full sun by the high bank of the Willamette River. My subconscious tells me that if the Olentangy in Columbus can give me Poetry, then the Willemmette can give me the key to True Power. I know that soon this river and I will be spending a lot of time together. I know the inevitable is coming. This means facing the bike shop dramas tomorrow and then tomorrow night, starting the Quest. As I spent time on the high bank, I saw lots of Crows, and heard their caws. I saw the bikers riding around in the distance, sailing over what must be my route to come.
Really my only fears are being cold, and trying to covertly camp outside. That's it. I know i can ride 100 or so miles. So I stopped at this bench to come to realize what i can through meditation. I sang just to use some sound for healing, and I went into relaxation.
---
AFTER COFFEE,
I wandered the neighborhood more in search of another coffee shop that would let me do some work, but again it seemed like I was beating a dead horse.
So I filed past an elite new age grocery, perused some aisles and then headed back out, and was drawn to a bridge. I entertained myself by singing "proud mary" but without the full lyrics because I am just so damn bad at remembering lyrics!
Soon I found a pocket park by the river, which happened to be host to one of my least favorite of animals...DOGS.
But people were so incredibly happy here, and the long wooden dock out to the river allowed me to have peace and separation from a potential run-in with some slobber or drool.
I baked and baked in the sunlight. I sniffed the warm, clean air. I took in a day of just enjoying being fully unemployed.
AFTER THE RIVER
I headed toward "home" but was reluctant to head there after receiving the BirdTRIBE signal. The BirdTRIBE signal is a mudra. (if you need a definition of mudra, check Google.)
This mudra is a new sign that has come to me spontaneously just before having my going away party for me and the Serpentbird 7 in Columbus.
It is an energy that comes into form in my hands. To me this energy signifies hope and power in numbers, as well as communion with like minded spirits, who are advancing the energies on the planet. (Also said as, raising the vibration).
I knew that one more visit to the New Age shop down the street could be a good idea. So after seeing the meditation sign out front, that i hadn't noticed earlier in the day, i decided this was PRIME time.
I went in and was greeted by Catia, who was wearing some large wooden spiral earplugs. She was a delight, and really enjoyed hearing a bit about my new adventures. She offered to make me tea. First though i need to explain the real meat and bones of what this whole blog is about. I got a significant confirmation about really being called to Eugene as my home base. People I meet in Portland have been so friendly, and further, are trying to keep me here. They say...wait well, there is a fest next week, or are you going to be here Thursday, etc.
So have been feeling uneasy about whether Eugene is going to be good enough. I have never been there in my life, so i won't know till i feel the vibe, or give it a chance to offer the opportunities.
SO then, while in Essential Elements, in front of the huge crystal/gem and jewel case, and under a large circular mural on the ceiling, i get an etheric blast of warm grounding air woosh down through my column and bust down and around my legs. This is a new air, energy that i am not accustomed to feeling. It wants me to be with it though and that is exciting.
Okay...so no more worries right?
Well yes...i needed to pre-visualize my mission.
After another hour just hanging out at the shop, finally... Joey arrives.
Joey is a sweet buddha-like man, who comes to share his meditation.
We head down to the basement and a group of meditators arrive. I am not opposed to the technique of "no thought" but really I needed to go journeying. It was dark and cool in the basement, with murals and lots of positive energy. We had a few candles lit and in the corner, an annoying lamp emmitting a plastic-blue light.
I closed my eyes and followed his words for a way to bring myself deeper, but all i did was let my immagination play on. AND ON. So it went, I saw the river and a big midnight blue sky with pinprickly stars of white throughout.
I saw myself, not feeling alone, but being empowered with feeling. With water-emotion, with new channels of energy opening. I felt my brain healing and the hemispheres of it fusing together.
I felt my left brain especially soften, and noticed that that side feels like it has an old crust, and new lava was about to reform it on the journey ahead and smooth it out. I saw myself with a fresh pack of Tobacco, and a new strength to go within.
Perhaps our greatest modern fear. I continued to carve out the old baggage from chakras with an imaginary ivory blade.
I saw all the negative worries and how they could taunt me and then be squelched again by the peace of the river and it's gift of wisdom. I felt my right hand open up like a cup or a human paw, and i could almost feel my native guide hold energy right in it.
I saw myself making prayers for the people, animals and experiences. I saw myself creating rituals (or remembering some) with tobacco and a shell. I felt such power within the release of the pain. The pain was just letting go and feeling Real; not good or bad. I knew that this was just the beginning of lots of new poetry about "Black and White" metaphors. (My white eye balls piercing through the dark of night). On and on it could go. Finding my message. Finding new ways of using emotion to reach people. Finding emotion itself and the mechanics of it.






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Bob Marley, Peace Pilgrim and the HUMMINGBIRD.

5/14/2012

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The events quickly turned, as i left the last couchsurfer's home up on the hill. I went downtown, and three people called me at once. One of them, my new couch hosts, who was on his way to meet me at 5th and Jefferson in Portland. At last i was in an extended comfort zone, that had musical breathing room. Being subjected to the same old classic rock tunes during the last 24 hours put me into a melancholy mode. Really Portlanders? (was Tom Petty the best you could do?) Now riding in a green toyota with a red-bearded fellow, on the way across the river and to the land of infinite possiblity zone. Computer usage, in the sound recording room, soy candle wafting sweet smells, a button-cute Kali cooking ameri-mexi flavors. A newly wed couple shares their story about which will soon embark on the same kind of free wheeling 2012 leaping snake-shedding tour. For them it will be swimming the land with their music. 
I have found myself in the middle of bliss. Good food, good conversation and apartment zen. 
After the meal with a variety of 5 different hot sauces on the table, we sat downtown again in the swankiest movie theater i have ever been in... "The Living Room". 
This place is modern and squuuueaky clean. It's swank, with full bar and sexy sultry jazz band back in the corner. Nine dollars. 
Bob Marley on the big screen is now in my face, and i am gripped with a mocha fantastic grin, fli=ying over the sweet green covered hills of Jamaica. Yes I WAS flying, along with the fantastic airplane shots of the countrysides. I see the Door of No return in Africa, where the slaves, were as it clearly states, were never to return. I felt my heart center ripping open with it ALL. My belly emo center spinning and churning, and steaming the coals.
I found this room to be holding me in a kind of space, that i have been making for others these past 6 months or more, with the Serpentbird 7 and our Medicine Wheels. 
Here i was watching the master, leaping around the entire planet with his yin and yang blood black and white messages of peace. It's just a baffling thing to wonder, why there are so few of "these" (types) as he was. So much burning, so much unstoppable-ness. 
It's on and on...doors of mystery he walked through. The nature of his devotion to God, and the use of music to transmute the evil in his life and the world was so great. 
You can't help wanting the music to be in your own self after seeing that kind of light. 
The next day....
I can't decide which part of this huge metro i want to traverse, and perhaps tear into.
The sun is burning up the day pretty early in the day, compared to my first two here. I grab my Turtle bag and opt for the Saturday market. Animal Medicine Cards, and colorful scarves. I just wondered what the chances were i could be the messenger today. 
After another cute little home-made breakfasts from my hosts, i thought the least i could do is score some organic greens to bring back to the land of I.P. 
So i spot the people from Greenpeace and steer past their neon hair, because of my budget. I take a photo of a spread of Morel mushrooms that i hadn't seen outside of a biology textbook.  ---MORE LATER
So I had to call on my inner strength to feel that I could not only make a small profit on the lawn in the midst of the farmers market, but have confidence in my abilities.
I set myself down next to a tall tree and a juggler. Butterfly hankercheif, and my alpaca scarf, made a table. A white crystal for the center, silk colored scarf on my head, and then heads were turning. I took out my trusty carnelian mala and began chanting Tara mantras and simultaneously chanted repeatedly..."I am the Hawk". I asked in prayer for a person who needs my messages. 
Not more than ten minutes brought me a silver haired woman. She asked what it was that i do, and i said that i can help her identify her inner powers through animal medicines. I explained my pricings, but she wasn't budging. She was joyful and light in spirit though, so we talked for a bit. I decided to make one last suggestion, and she went for a 5 card Butterfly spread.
A half an hour or more brought us through the wheel, and by the end we both had experienced tears. We had a kinship in the need for high knowledge and close communion with Spirit. I explained to her that this year there is a real need for people to go travel to new places and spread their light around. It is difficult to paint with my words, so I will paraphrase it. She had Dolphin medicine that needed to be awakened. Sound healing, and a need to find her own voice. She had Eagle medicine, which required an extra layer of peeling away her own small "self" and surrendering even deeper into Spirit. She had the Hummingbird which requires opening to love. This is where the water wall came through. She needed to do all of the things/lessons that she said she already knew. Although she was older and perhaps wiser, I had to remain strong in my gut feelings to tell her to revisit everything with more intensity. I knew her Spirit quest, and i knew the level of near insanity it requires. This time she just needed to have more receptivity and perhaps (at my suggestion) a brand new crystal singing bowl. I came out of it knowing that I helped deliver some real breakthroughs, and i hoped she would go home and plan a totally insane journey to new and far off places.
AND why Peace Pilgrim? Well, my new friend that i "read" for gave me a book about Peace Pilgrim called Steps Toward Inner Peace. This little booklet is one i believed most cherished on the planet by women mmmm maybe in their 60's. She was a prophet; a seeker. She walked more than 25,000 miles across North America etc etc. As you can read in her book. And i mention it just to add that out of all journey-ers i have heard of in history, she truly must have been one of the few women on the planet to rise up and out of babylon so successfully. Peace ...a monumental thing to instill among the insane and within ourselves.
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Dragonfly Totem

5/10/2012

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The Dragonfly Totem is what prompts CHANGE. The Totem key word is "Illusion". I have always known in my soul that Babylon is Illusion. SO why is it so scary leaving all of your material possessions behind? Once ingrained into modern society, it becomes increasingly difficult to know your own "self" while immersed in the illusion itself. Man made materials...though it is "created" is a distraction to what is and the here and now.

I began seeing the dragonfly totem come to me while at my work, cleaning houses. This is the antithesis of what i just stated earlier about the material world versus nature. However there are exceptions to the rule. Spirit will guide you in what ever way it can, to get you to see what you should really be seeing, "behind the veils" of illusion. This way we know that we are always loved unconditionally in the universe.

Today is my second day in Portland, Oregon. I am bewildered knowing i am supposed to be on a "vision quest". I am certainly not in any wilderness here. I am in the large metropolis, I am in the suburbs. I am lost in this mission, to pierce through the veils. I know at some juncture i am going to lose my patience and bail out on everyone. I can't seem to re-gain any strength in the midst of words, and conversations. I can barely make sentences. I am screaming internally for retreat into silence.
After all of the supposed "vision quests" i have been on, I feel that this one is well just as difficult but in a different way of course. Is it okay to find a balance between city and wilderness?
So many unanswered questions. Fear of traveling into a forest to escape modern insanity. Frosty spring nights.
I have a sleeping bag, and wool sweaters, 2 alpaca scarves, one pair of alpaca socks, essential oils, some t-shirts, a bra, a few pairs of underwear.
I checked my bike into the shop after it arrived perfectly at my couchsurfing hosts' residence. On Wednesday I will have the bike back and be having a trial run on how to hitch it all on board.

So why does Shamanka (Serpentbird), leave the world of comfort, for the unknown? It is to make full soul and full God contact. It is to let my own feeling of safety drop out and let myself be caught in nature's spirit webs. Its all hell breaking loose in my emotions. I am screaming to be found. I am a stranger in a strange land, homeless, and free. The more posessions the more burdens.
It has been 5 years or so since my journey to Hopi land. I was a different being. I was solid.
Now i am unprepared for the leap, but it is the only way up.
I know I can not be effective at being an example to others until i feel healthy again.
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    Serpentbird, Ancient Goddess, who returns to Heal the Earth.

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